After 25+ years working with singles as a dating coach, helping them navigate online dating from writing dating profiles to teaching effective messaging techniques, wow, have I seen the weird, the humorous—and all in between!
How do I know this? With my clients, in the first month I actually log in to their dating site/app with them to identify high potential dates and teach them a fast, effective technique to quickly find what they are looking for. Most clients think I save them 70-80% of their time searching with my proven strategy.
Here we go with the Dating Mistakes:
1. Their profile has no information.
They’ve done the minimum work---just checking off boxes such as concerts, travel, foodie. (Who doesn’t like to eat and travel?). Writing an online dating profile is crucial! But they have no skin in the game when they do not write at least a paragraph or answered prompts to glean a bit of their personality!
2. The profile reads like a novella.
This is oversharing. TMI. Let in real life dates unlock your life experiences and thoughts. One man took us through 5 paragraphs of his journey into meditation/self-awareness. Maybe he should write a book, but inappropriate for an online dating profile. We got through one paragraph before we hit “Block”.
3. “I can’t believe I’m doing this”.
Yes, people do start profiles with this line. Well, you are online. This line conveys insecurity and arrogance. Your marketability just plummeted.
4. Generic language.
This can run rampant online---I’m fun, happy, positive and love to travel. While we don’t want to hear your whole life story in 2 paragraphs, not using highly descriptive words will be a quick left swipe or delete for you.
5. One Photo.
Absolutely suspect. Enough said.
6. Poor quality photos or “postcards”.
Stop using selfies, photos of you in bathroom mirror, (why?) in your car, blurry photos, holding a big fish, (your only photo!!) large group photos---(which one are you?), LinkedIn posed photos. How many times have I seen photos of the Northern lights, Taj Mahal, Venice canals---without a person in the photo! We get it---you have been there but where are you?
7. Using old photos
That means more than 2 years ago, lying about age, height, weight.
Hey, your date will figure this out in the first minute of your drinks date and be mad; rightfully so.
8. Sending hearts/likes, etc.
One of the top complaints from both sexes online. It suggests passivity or low interest. How do you feel when you get a like with no message? Neutral probably---the ball is now in your court to send a message or even worse, like them back. Tie score. Neither made progress toward that in real life first date!
9. Thinking too hard about your response.
Be you! No need for formal responses---they rarely get a response. Too stiff. For example: “I see you enjoy scuba diving and Italy---where were you certified and where do you like to go in Italy?” It’s boring, all about them, nothing about you, and has zero personality! Sounds like an interview question. I have one client who had the habit of drafting responses that took 15 minutes and used a 5-syllable vocabulary---I couldn’t break her habit until she was batting 0 for 20 responses sent!
10. Poor grammar/misspellings.
This is a first impression. Use proper English! You can get more casual after your first two messages and use emojis and lol’s!
Stay tuned for my next article on Ten Online Tips for Great In Real Life Dates! I had to share with you the mistakes first—then we will get to the fun part! As an online dating coach, I know these tips work as I see my clients meeting great people online every day. To find out how to do this effectively and not feel like online dating is drudgery or a second job, Click Here!
With over 5,000 marriages and 60% of my clients currently dating someone they really like; I know this works!
Love & Laughter,
Andrea McGinty, Dating Coach and Consultant
Featured on Oprah, Today Show, NYT, WSJ, Forbes and People
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