When we get swept up in a relationship, it’s flabbergasting how much we unwittingly ignore.  As a top dating coach talking to many clients each week, while I can’t say I am amazed by what I hear, I can be objective.   Yes, it’s tough sometimes to be in a relationship---the attraction, the excitement, the initial anticipation---we can overlook some red flags that this person may not be our long-term person.

Here are some items that can damage and doom a relationship:

1.      Different values and priorities

Mismatched core values do not mean a person is bad---it just means the two of you are not a match.  But this does not mean you need to agree on everything---that would be weird, right?

2.      There’s no humor in your relationship

If you are a person who loves to laugh and sees humor in small daily things, this may be a deal breaker for you.

3.      They don’t like your dog/animals

Big one.  Dog lovers. Cat lovers.  Your significant other does not like animals at all.  This can lead to a break-up easily.  

4.      Thinking you will change the other person

Here’s my take on this one after over 25 years as a dating and relationship coach:  the only thing you can change are their clothes!!!   (You want change---it’s healthier to work on yourself).

5.      They walk away from a fight…. which should be a discussion

Communication.   Key to a relationship in a mature manner.

6.      Not always respectful

Sure, we have moods.  But both of you deserve mutual respect.

7.      Actions don’t follow promises

They don’t call when they said they would.  They cancel dates last minute.  It’s all about actions, not words.

8.      You’re not you

Ohhh, if you can’t be yourself or you’re walking on eggshells around them, time to reconsider this relationship.

9.      Not friends as much as lovers

Sure, intimacy is important but what about the other 23 hours each day?  Hopefully, this person is your best friend!

10.   They’ve lied to you

Enough said. 

Every relationship is unique and it is essential to approach each other with understanding, empathy, thoughtfulness and commitment.   This ensures growth and longevity in a relationship---and happiness!

Love, laughter and happy dating,

Andrea McGinty

Founder, 33000Dates.com

Founder, It’s Just Lunch (sold)

Top Dating Coach/Relationship Coach