Talking to daters all day, every day for what feels like 30 years (but who’s counting?), I’ve heard it ALL. The drama, the heartbreak, the ghosting sagas, and, of course, the desperate cries of “WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!”

So, let’s dive right into the greatest hits—the complaints I hear constantly when people call me:

1. Online dating is exhausting.

Are you running a dating app or using one? If it feels like a full-time job, you’re either overdoing it or just thinking about it too hard. Pro tip: If you’re spending more than 90 minutes a week swiping, you might as well add “Dating App Overlord” to your LinkedIn profile.

2. I don’t even know where to begin—it’s overwhelming!

You just got out of a 10, 20, or 30-year relationship, and now you find out there are 1,400 dating apps?! I’d be overwhelmed just typing that number. Do we really need an app just for people who love sourdough bread? (Yes, that exists.) No wonder you want to quit before you even start!

3. I’m so discouraged.

Because you went online for two weeks and didn’t meet The One? Honey, Amazon Prime has ruined your patience. Good things take time. Give it three months, and I almost guarantee you’ll have a different story.

4. All the good men are married.

Oh, look—another entry in the "Urban Myths of Dating"! Funny enough, over 50% of my clients are men, and they swear all the good women are taken. So unless there's a secret underground society of "good people" hiding from us all, I’m calling BS.

5. All the men want to date younger.

Ah yes, the infamous "Peter Pan Syndrome." But here’s the reality—Stanford research shows only 20% of men want to date significantly younger. The other 80% are happy with someone within five years of their age. So, do we really care about that 20%? Let them chase TikTok trends while we sip our wine in peace.

6. No one responds to me!

Okay, I’m gonna be blunt: YOU are doing something wrong. If your opening line is “Hey” or worse, a wink emoji, you deserve to be ignored. Try something fun, weird, or specific. Trust me, it works.

7. I send SO many messages and get zero responses.

Do you, though? I bet if you kept a message log (oh hey, there's one on page 401 of my book 2nd Acts: Winning Strategies for Dating), you’d be shocked at how little you're actually engaging. Time to bust that excuse!

8. It’s a full-time job, and why can’t I meet someone organically?

Because organic is for blueberries, not dating. If you’re waiting to meet someone in a coffee shop like it’s a rom-com, you might as well start carrying a boombox and wearing a trench coat in the rain. Times have changed!

Ok, we'll take a break here as time is a'wastin---Let's do a 15-minute call together---no pain, no pressure. I want to hear about you---and how I may help. Use this link to book me for 15 minutes and spill it all---what you want and what's not worked so far. I'm a good listener! Click here to set up the call.

9. I keep thinking my friends will set me up, but they never do.

Because they love you—but they are not your personal matchmaking service. Plus, they know there are 1,400 dating apps, so why should they do the work? Stop bugging them. You want to keep your friends, right?

10. The quality of people online is terrible.

This isn’t 2005. Things have changed. I have three clients a week meeting long-term partners online. And for the record, I met my guy on my sixth first date. (Even my ex-husband met his wife on Bumble. No, I’m not bitter. Much.)

11. The dating sites are awful.

Yes, some of them are dumpster fires. But others? Want to know which ones? Read pages 97-113 of my book, where I break it all down. And no, just because your brother found his wife on FarmersOnly doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Unless, of course, you own a tractor.

12. I’m nervous people will see me online and think I’m a loser.

Newsflash: It’s 2025. You’re already on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. One of my clients—a famous athlete—was worried about this until I reminded him two of his teammates met their wives online. He got over it. You will too.

13. I’ve been online for a month and had zero dates.

No dates = No effort. If you’re just existing on an app without sending messages, that’s like showing up to a party and standing in the corner, waiting for someone to notice you. Spoiler: They won’t.

14. I was married for 30 years, and the idea of dating again terrifies me.

OF COURSE it does. You didn’t walk down the aisle thinking, “Can’t wait to do this all over again someday.” But new things are always scary. Get some help, build your confidence, and remember: 45 or 64 is not old. You have plenty of time for a second great love.

15. Online dating won’t work for me.

Why? Are you a vampire? Do you live on a deserted island with no WiFi? Because unless you’re actively sabotaging yourself, it can work for you. Let’s talk about why you think it won’t—because that’s some 1990s energy we need to leave behind.

16. I don’t necessarily want to get married again, but I do want a long-term partner.

Totally normal. In fact, my clients break down like this:✔ 1/3 get married.✔ 1/3 live together.✔ 1/3 have an exclusive long-term relationship.

There is no one-size-fits-all for love.

Now, do people ever call me and say, “Andrea, I’m SO excited to try online dating!”?

LOL. No.

But guess what? If you take a chance, you might just be calling me in a few weeks with a totally different story.

Start with my book (hot off the press last week!) to get in the right mindset. It’s got 14 worksheets, 14 QR codes with videos from me, and a roadmap to help you stop swiping in frustration.

And if you’re really ready? Call me. Let’s make this fun!

After selling her successful It’s Just Lunch matchmaking business, Andrea McGinty founded 33000Dates.com where she helps 40-70-year-olds navigate online dating with a 65% success rate. She writes profiles, chooses sites, coaches and more. Andrea has been featured on Oprah, AARP, People, Today Show, WSJ+. She is the author of 2nd Acts: 166 Winning Strategies for Dating over 50, on sale now.