Yes. No. I have no idea.
Ok, let me help you. Has the thought of dating or a relationship been one of the 80,000 thoughts that run through your brain daily? (Seriously…it’s a medical fact and you know the scary part? “They” say 60% of them are negative). Oh, that could never be me---I’m way too positive. But it’s a fact. Ugh.
Online dating tips coming up---but in the interim think about this. What sort of things have you wanted to experience in your life? Take salsa lessons. Learn glass blowing. Take a boxing lesson with Sugar Ray. Try bobsledding. Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef. Give a Ted Talk.
Do these just happen? Do they require a bit of time management planning prior? You bet. If they are just thoughts in your head or you were gifted a bucket list notebook, you are probably kidding yourself and it will never happen. Maybe dating was a New Year’s Resolution, but oops, it’ now January 27 and all those incredible ideas/promises from Jan 1 are distant memories. Good things in our personal and professional lives take work.
So, are you ready?
1. You are 50/50 sitting on the fence about online dating. On one hand you’ve heard horror stories (perhaps consider the source?), on the other you just went to a friend’s wedding where he met her on Bumble. (Full disclosure----that was my client Marc, 49, so resistant to online dating initially and Linda, 52, was his 4th date---and the Monday after the wedding 4 of his friends who has attended the wedding called me and are now clients). As one of his friends said to me “Linda was so pretty and sweet”. Well, that certainly dispelled his thinking of what lurks online.
2. You recently were widowed. I can’t answer this one. I’d need probably a 15-minute phone call with you to gage your readiness and whether I can help. After being a dating coach, matchmaker, and dating consultant for over 25 years, I’ll give you a straightforward answer:
a. Yes, I think you are ready and as a coach I’ll hold your hand each step of the way, or
b. No, I think you should give it a little more time to go through grieving—I’m here when YOU are ready
3. A divorce/an acrimonious divorce/an amicable divorce Oddly, you’d think I might have different thoughts based on how long ago the divorce took place, if you are still dealing with custody or asset splits, but not really. This comes down solidly to state of mind! Are you excited to start dating, do you have self-confidence and can you put the past in the past so your potential dates don’t hear about the custody agreement? Then yes, it’s a green light for you! (This includes long term relationships without marriages too)
4. You’ve been single for 48 years. Yes, you’ve dated but never looked for a LTR or marriage and now think that’s on the horizon. This is no big deal! I have clients ask “won’t they think I’m weird that I haven’t been married?” For the most part, I’d reckon 75%, could care less if you two click and have chemistry. Don’t waste time worrying.
5. If dating is on your mind, it’s time. Whether you’d like a to use a matchmaker, a dating coach, the big, wide world of online dating, it’s time to go for it. Check this one off you list---and get working on your Ted Talk.
By the way, the only person I met in 25 years of helping singles find love (and over 4300 marriages) who did absolutely no work was a New York client who had a fire in her kitchen and married the firefighter!
So, off your butts, and let’s have some fun!
Warmly,
Andrea 702-494-7344 (yes, I answer my phone, not my assistants!)
Founder, 33000Dates.com
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