Yesterday. Crying? Elation? Depressed? I dealt with many emotions yesterday while coaching numerous clients. Dating and the presidential election. hmmm.
No, I’m not Peggy Noonan, MSNBC or Fox News and going to attempt to analyze politics---I like to analyze love and make people happy.
Let’s begin with Carolina, my client from two years ago (a staunch Democrat) who is happily married to Mark (you know where this is going, a lifelong Republican). Carolina, whom I coached and absolutely had fun working with---reached out to me yesterday just for a “catch-up”.
Yep, Mark is awesome. She likes his family and vice versa. They are super happy together.
And politically, on opposite sides of the spectrum. In Philadelphia, their front lawn sported two signs—one for each candidate. As she walked her dog Micky, neighbors asked her “How can you have those signs on your lawn”? Her answer, how could I not? I love him and respect his views, and he respects mine.
Carolina reminded me of what I always say---For a good relationship and for it to work, you need: Chemistry, Communication and Common Values. (yes, I know there are some others too, but they sort of full under my main three). Then Carolina added, “Andrea, I don’t remember you ever saying anything about common political parties”.
We laughed and I asked if they watched Tuesday’s election coverage. Carolina told me “Of course, Mark was in the living room with Fox and I was in the sunroom watching CNN and MSNBC and every hour we’d meet up in the kitchen to top off our wine and ask each other ‘So what are your pundits saying?’ and laugh as we gave each other opposite news.
So, here are my tips for the next few weeks when dating:
1. Be kind and sensitive. You may go on dates with Independents or a different view of politics. You may just fall in love like Mark and Carolina.
2. Acceptance. We respect other’s points of views---but does not mean we need to dive deep into politics.
3. You just can’t. So, that’s easy---just date people with whom you share the same politics.
I’m talking from experience and coaching for 30 years---in the 90’s dating across party lines was not a big deal. Yes, things have changed. In my own family, we had votes for the following candidates: Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, and a Write-In. And yep, we all still love each other.
And, BTW, I love hearing from my clients from years ago and getting a catch-up in---I spoke to a California client from 4 years ago for a quick ten minutes (he called me) just to make certain his relationship was going in the right direction. No, I don’t ever forget about you when your program is over!
Have a happy day,
Andrea McGintyDating Coach/Dating Expert
Founder, 33000Dates.com and It’s Just Lunch
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