Happy Saturday! Maybe some of you are watching The Golden Bachelorette? Well, here's my friend April Kirkwood's take on the behind the scenes of being a Golden Bachelorette--just in case you are thinking of applying!
April is a very special woman--and wears her heart on her sleeve. She answered these questions for me and has good insight into dating, love and her soul.
Personal Journey: Can you share your journey and how you became involved
with the Golden Bachelor?
I can only describe being on the Golden Bachelor as divine intervention. I
received applications from all kinds of people from my past while I fluctuated
through the many layers of grief over the loss of a man I lived with for over
twenty years. One rainy day, I completed one of those forms, merely out of
boredom; and voila, I made it and stepped into a completely new experience.
First Impressions: What was your first impression of the Golden Bachelor
when you met him?
I try to follow my intuition and immediately got the ‘feel’ that the man I was
seeing under the camera and lights was not the same as his true self. Too much
acting, too many tears and too little genuine comments. Truth always reveals
itself and I am grateful I missed potential heartache by listening to my inner
voice. Follow yours!
Dating Philosophy: How has your philosophy on dating evolved over the
years?
As the morals and technology of our world evolve, so has the philosophy
of dating. Dating today can be both exhausting and emotionally tough unless
you decide to ‘flow like liquid gold’ with an updated emotional compass like this:
Dating is a fun way to get to know someone and meeting people. If it works
fine; if not…I can wash my hair tomorrow night. I’m fine. More than fine. I’ve got
this.
Challenges: What were some of the biggest challenges you faced while
participating in the show?
Contestants are not permitted to have any contact with the outside world.
Phones and television are gone. While at the mansion contestants are miked and
privacy is nonexistent. It is truly like an alternate universe. I kept thinking,
“This would make a great psych experiment.”
Memorable Moments: What was the most memorable moment for you on the
Golden Bachelor?
I slept in a large room with bunkbeds sharing one bathroom with seven
others replicating the dorm life I never experienced since I stayed home during
my undergrad. I went totally crazy giggling and laughing as our ‘hall monitor’
continually gave us ‘lights out’ requests. I was in college with strangers and it
was fabulous.
Age and Dating: How do you think dating changes as people get older?
Dating and life itself when you’re young is carefree without expectations,
demands, responsibilities and fear. Life itself changes us and one day we turn
around having more painful memories, more responsibilities, and often dreading
change. Our energy ruminates from fear to wisdom often confusing the entire
process of living in the NOW.
Confidence: What advice do you have for women to boost their confidence in
dating?
Follow your heart. There are no mistakes; even the ones that look like a
failure are actually lessons. All relationships are assignments and each
encounter is a gift to your self actualization.
Intuition: How much should someone trust their gut feeling when it comes to
dating?
I am an advocate of following intuition. I believe most of us are cut off
from our truest and most devoted friend, our soulful self. My advice is that pain
is the greatest teacher so even if a date goes wrong, it went just the way it
should.
Dealbreakers: As a dating coach, of course I want to know what are your top dealbreakers in a relationship?
I absolutely need someone that provides both a space for my growth and
a self-confident strength to be there when I need his love and guidance as all
humans do.
Future Plans: What are your future plans, both in your personal life and career?
My life goal in both my private and professional life is to open up the hearts of
others. I will gratefully and humbly go in whatever direction the fates of wind
blow doors open for me.
About April: April Kirkwood, LPC, is a dynamic keynote speaker, licensed professional counselor, and author with over 26 years of experience in education and mental health counseling. Holding master's degrees in both education and mental health counseling from Youngstown State University, April is passionate about helping women overcome personal challenges and achieve lasting happiness. Her journey includes navigating a difficult childhood with a bipolar mother and enduring a 30-year self-sabotaging relationship linked to her connection with Frankie Valli of The 4 Seasons.
Her website is AprilKirkwood.com
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