Let’s face it—online dating can feel like a never-ending cycle of swiping, matching, and wondering if “Hey” is really the best opening line humanity has to offer. But before we blame the algorithms, let’s take a hard look at your dating profile. I do this constantly with my clients as a dating coach when I am writing their dating profiles. If it’s not getting you the attention (or the dates) you deserve, it might be time for a makeover.
Fear not! You don’t need a professional photographer, a team of copywriters, or a full-blown personality transplant. Just a few simple tweaks can take your profile from “meh” to “must-message.” Here’s how:
1. Pick Photos That Don’t Make People Swipe Away in Horror---becuase you won't believe what I see intelligent people posting!
Your photos are the first impression, and let’s be honest—no one’s reading your carefully crafted bio if your pics look like you were caught on a security camera.
Ditch the blurry, bathroom-mirror selfies. We get it, your phone has a camera, but so do your friends—use them.
Smile like you actually want to meet someone. Brooding and mysterious? Maybe. Looking like you just got arrested? Not so much.
No group shots as your first picture. We don’t want to play “Guess Who?” to figure out which one is you.
Pets, travel, and hobbies? Yes. Show some personality! A picture of you hiking, baking, or playing with your dog is a great way to spark conversation.
2. Your Bio: More Than Just “I Love to Laugh”
If your bio says “Just ask” or “I don’t know what to put here,” congratulations—you’ve officially told people nothing. Your bio should be a glimpse into what makes you interesting, fun, and worth getting to know.
Be specific! Instead of “I like movies,” try “I can quote every line from The Princess Bride—challenge me.”
Show, don’t tell. Instead of “I’m funny,” say something funny! Instead of “I love to travel,” mention the coolest place you’ve been or your dream destination.
Avoid clichés like the plague. Everyone loves “long walks on the beach.” Be original!
3. Ditch the Red Flags (Even the Unintentional Ones)
Some profile statements seem innocent but can actually scare people away faster than a bad pickup line.
“No drama” sounds like you might be the drama. Instead, say you’re looking for someone positive and easygoing.
“Fluent in sarcasm” can be a warning sign. Humor is great, but if it sounds like you’re a walking, talking eye-roll, people might assume you’re just mean.
Avoid negativity. “Not looking for games” or “Tired of fake people” makes your profile sound like a rant. Keep it light and fun.
4. The Opening Message: Say More Than “Hey”
If you start with “Hey,” you might as well send a carrier pigeon—it’s just as likely to get a response.
Personalize it! Mention something from their profile. “Hey, fellow dog lover! What’s your pup’s name?” is 1,000 times better than a generic greeting.
Ask an engaging question. “What’s the worst Valentine's Day you've ever spent" or “If we could teleport anywhere for dinner tonight, where are we going?” keeps things interesting.
Be playful. A little humor goes a long way. “Quick poll: Pineapple on pizza—yes or a crime against humanity?”
5. Update Regularly (Because You Are Not a Museum Exhibit)
If your profile still says you “just moved to town” and you’ve been there for three years, it’s time for an update. Keeping things fresh shows that you’re active, engaged, and putting in effort.
Swap out photos every few months. A little variety keeps things interesting.
Adjust your bio if your interests change. Took up rock climbing? Became a pro at baking sourdough? Let the world know!
Be honest. If your profile says you’re “6’2” and your date shows up with a tape measure, it’s going to get awkward fast.
Final Thoughts: Online Dating is Supposed to Be Fun!
At the end of the day, online dating should be exciting, not exhausting. A well-crafted profile sets the stage for great conversations, real connections, and—who knows?—maybe even a love story worth telling.
So go forth, make those tweaks, and start swiping with confidence. Your next great match could be just a profile update away!
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