Photo courtesy of Forbes
Or just thoughts of dipping your toes back into dating---with apprehension, some excitement and doubts that you’ll find love again?
Well, let me start with Happy Sunday and I had no intention of writing this nor sending anything out to my clients today---but then I woke up and three things popped up. Two on my texts; one me.
I’ll tell you what prompted this---then you can answer or ponder the 8 questions.
I do turn my work phone off at night---yes, to sleep and to be surprised in the morning at what clients have asked me, told me or just hear about a fun date they went on. And here is what I heard and saw this Sunday morning:
Text 1: Gwen, 56. OMG. Yes, I was happy to hear from her as we hadn’t chatted in over 5 months. She’s a traveling nurse and had a crazy schedule, but last talk we’d had was about Tim, 51, who lived in Santa Fe---a bit of distance from her home base of Laguna Beach, CA. Our conversations were about how much she liked him—but how could this work with the distance? Her nursing gig in Santa Fe had ended and she was back home. But Tim, an ER doctor, just isn’t giving up and had been visiting her very other week for the past 5 months.
Last night he popped the question and told her that he couldn’t deal with any more long distance. And had put his home on the market. And had a job offer in SoCal. He’d tied up all the loose ends and told her he wanted to spend the next decades of life with her. Gwen said yes!
After the text, there was a voicemail from both—Tim, who I didn’t know personally, did all the talking, thanking me for encouraging Gwen to give him a chance. I’m not sure who was happier---Gwen and Tim, or me waking to this text and voicemail!
Text 2: A photo. I recognized Daniel, my 48 year old client from a year ago in New Jersey. Next to him was Lisa, hand out, a beautiful emerald ring on her finger. And guess what? I had to talk Daniel into going out with her on Bumble. Why? He was concerned she had 16 year old twins and his two children were in college and out of the house. But I thought they were an amazing match and encouraged him---c’mon, I said, It’s only a date. Then, a second photo of the two of them plus 4 kids, all smiling. A wedding? Oh, yes already set for Halloween, their favorite holiday---these two don’t mess around!
And, I happen to be in NYC that weekend so of course I’m going. Yay!
Last, me. Those who know me---you know I was married for a long time, divorced and didn’t date for a bit after. And here I am, giving dating advice since my 20s---that’s over 30 years! Jeff (my 6th date online) and I were married last Saturday in Rome, Italy. And, thank you for all the well-wishes you have sent this week. We are fortunate---just as Gwen, Tim, Daniel and Lisa are.
Does everyone who call me and I work with want marriage? No, I’d say 50%. The others want a long-term relationship or partner. Working with clients in their 30s to plus 60s, it’s a joy and high for me when you find your partner!
Ready to meet him/her?
Here’s 8 things to think about:
1. Have you thought about dating? Is it scary? Are you nervous? Both are ok and signs you are ready.
2. Can you go on a date and be positive? Not bad mouth your ex? If yes, you are ready. If no, give it some time.
3. Do you know how to start dating? If no, that’s fine. Most people don’t. Hey, there’s over 1400 dating sites/apps out there and a road map and dating coach (that's me!) can be key.
4. What is your dating strategy? My what??? Ok, you do need one to have success!
5. Can you commit to dating for 3 months and be open-minded? Here’s the deal—too many people give up after two weeks---so you must be able to give it time and 3-months is ideal. Over 65% of my clients end up in relationships and it rarely happened the first two weeks.
6. Are you happy with your life? That means---where you live, the people in your life, your career---if not, nobody else can make you happy.
7. Do you think this is a good time for you to date? Ok, my new book comes out in December—and I have a whole chapter about this. There is NO good time to date. It’s not as if a certain month in the calendar says “time to date”. Nope. We are coming up to holidays and there are many people online dating and it’s a fabulous time of year.
8. Are you open-minded? This is a must. Hey, whoever you dated or married last time around didn’t work, right? So take my advice like Daniel did.
9. Do you surround yourself with mostly positive people? Hey, this is important. Negativity is like a virus, infecting everyone near it.
10. Are you ready to invest in yourself? Hey, you invest in the stock market, your kids, your health club membership. Investing in your self is a no-brainer!
Again, Happy Sunday! May it be a sunny, lovely day---I’m writing this from my backyard looking at my pool being pummeled and nearly overflowing in another storm in South Florida---bits of the first hurricane and another one coming. But you know what? In a week, it’ll be sunny again. And that’s how quickly things can turn around in your love life, too.
Stay tuned---I have two articles for you this week---one from a well-known author/actress who is a client of mine and the other from my good friend who was on the Golden Bachelor and all the back story scoop.
And, if you are ready, you can do a free 15-minute call with me to gage whether we are a good fit and I can help. I don’t take a new client unless I’ve spoken to you first and I have very limited spots each month. Click here for a call.
#dating coach #dating #goldenbachelor
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