We dig into the ‘snow storming’ relationship trend
Jenna Ryu
USA TODAY
Not everyone is looking for a cuddle buddy during the colder months. Some people are opting for the opposite in a new, anti-cuffing season dating trend.
It’s called 'snow storming,' which involves ending your relationship in favor of a fresh start in the new year.
'Snow stormers tend to up and leave their long-term relationship, even when it might appear there is not an obvious reason,' says dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield
. 'In some circumstances, it is because the relationship is toxic.' But in other cases, people may have felt pressured to stay in dissatisfying relationships – especially during a season characterized by loneliness.
That’s why snow storming offers some people the chance to reevaluate their romance while encouraging them 'refine their standards and become firmer about what they will not put up with,' says Suzannah Weiss, residential sexologist for Biird.
But is this dating trend for everyone? Experts say it’s important to proceed with caution.
What is ‘snow storming’ – and should you consider it?
Unlike winter coating, experts say snow storming is a more refreshing and healthy trend, inspiring people to decisively leave unhappy relationships and embrace being single.
For anyone in an unhappy or toxic dynamic, snow storming can help to achieve freedom and relief from a high-conflict environment. However, a relationship doesn’t have to be abusive to justify leaving.
Some couples, for instance, stay in dead-end relationships that they know won’t last because 'it is comfortable for now or saying goodbye feels too hard,' Weiss says. That’s why the new year can be a time to reevaluate whether your current romance fits with your goals.
'The people best suited for snow storming are those who have a history of accepting subpar treatment or staying in relationships after they are no longer experiencing a net gain from them,' she says.
‘Snow storming’ isn’t for everyone. Here’s what to keep in mind
So should you break up with your partner?
Not so fast. It’s normal, especially in long-term relationships and marriages, for your feelings to wax and wane. But boredom alone should not be the reason to end an otherwise comfortable and stable romance.
Before breaking up, Weiss says it’s crucial to communicate your concerns and resort to snow storming only if you are unable to resolve incompatibility issues. 'If the relationship is good overall and you’re just feeling bored, try doing something to reconnect like going on dates or a trip together. Going to couples’ therapy might also be helpful for working through issues,' she suggests.
Mansfield also warns against using snow storming as a tool to avoid intimacy and commitment. 'They may have unresolved trauma or intimacy avoidance, and snow storming can be a way for them to keep jumping ship, rather than dealing with your own fears and issues.'
Having trouble ending your relationship? Here’s how you can ‘snow storm’
Ending your relationship abruptly, and seemingly without warning, can be upsetting for both parties. To make things a little easier, Mansfield and Weiss suggest:
Reevaluating your priorities: Ask yourself, 'Are they treating me in a way that feels good?' 'Are they someone I respect?' 'Is this relationship adding to my life?'
Trying to resolve your problems together before resorting to snow storming.
Snow storming in person: Be calm, open and honest in providing your partner closure.
Being upfront : 'Make sure you are not just bored or playing games to avoid commitment,' Mansfield says.
Changing your attitude about singlehood : Being single during cuffing season doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Weiss says it can be an opportunity to meet new people or plan fun activities with friends and family.#datingtips
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