You can’t wait to go on a second date. Or, one date was enough. Maybe you are on the fence whether you’d like to see this person again. If you are 50-50 on the date, my advice is always: Go. What do you have to lose but an hour or two of your time?
Reminder: the majority of people in their 30s through 60s did NOT see fireworks on the first date---yet end up in a happy relationship by giving it a second chance (yes, with sparks!). I’ve been watching the dating dance for over 25 years as a dating coach and founder of It’s Just Lunch matchmaking.
Regardless, ending a first date on a positive note is important, whether you’re interested in a second date or not. Don’t send mixed signals. The words you choose can set the tone for what happens next and that both parties leave with a clear understanding of each other’s intentions. Here are ten things people commonly can say at the end of a first date, depending on how you feel about the potential for future interactions: (but see how some are…. confusing!)
1. “I Had a Great Time Tonight.”
Yep, it means you’d like to see this person again. This simple statement works well if you enjoyed the date and want to express your appreciation. It’s a positive way to wrap up the evening and indicates that you value the time spent together.
2. “I’d Love to Do This Again Sometime.”
Ok, people say this and I get confused with the “sometime” part. It seems ambivalent to me. Tomorrow…or never? If you’re interested in seeing the person again, expressing this directly can help prevent ambiguity. This phrase conveys your interest in a second date without being too forward or presumptuous. Buy, hey, let’s drop the sometime. Maybe add how's Tuesday or Wednesday for you?
3. “Thank You for a Wonderful Evening.”
Uhm, wonderful? Do any of us really talk like this? Sounds suspect to me. While expressing gratitude is always appreciated, this sounds like it’s a bit exaggerated.
4. “I Really Enjoyed Getting to Know You.”
This is a nice way to express that you appreciated learning more about your date. It’s a versatile statement that can be used whether you’re interested in another date or simply want to leave things on a positive note.
5. “I Hope You Have a Great Rest of Your Week.”
Pretty much a blow-off. It doesn’t make any commitments or promises but does convey a modicum of courtesy.
6. “Let’s Stay in Touch.”
If you’re open to the possibility of future interactions but aren’t ready to commit to a second date, this phrase is a good middle ground. It keeps the door open without setting specific expectations. You might use this if you have several more dates on the docket this week. (and, of course it probably means your dates does as well if they used this line).
7. “I Appreciate Your Company Tonight.”
I find some do say this and I think it’s just odd. So skip this one as there are better options for whether it's a go or a no.
8. “It Was Nice Meeting You.”
Absolutely acceptable. Just don’t hug or kiss them on the cheek as then this will be confusing---no mixed signals. Sometimes I think daters do this out of feeling a bit bad or guilty that they don't want to see this person again--so they make this awkward move.
This is a classic way to conclude a first date, especially if you’re not interested in pursuing things further. It’s polite and acknowledges the meeting without implying any future commitments.
9. “I’m Not Sure We’re a Match, but I Enjoyed Our Time Together.”
If you’re certain that you don’t want to pursue a relationship, honesty is the best policy. This statement is straightforward but kind, ensuring that your date understands your feelings without feeling rejected.
10. “Would You Be Interested in Doing This Again?”
I sort of like this---with some tweaks. How about: “I’d be interested in getting together again---how do you feel”? Or instead of “how do you feel” you can just say “would you”? Asking directly for a second date can be a great way to gauge interest and take control of the situation. It’s a confident approach that leaves little room for misinterpretation.
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